Bike Theft Summer

from by Fake Canadian

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Inspired by the summer of either 2011 or 2012 where half of my friends had gotten their bikes stolen.


It was still hot in the setting sun
And the rash of bike theft all over downtown
Has everybody on the run

Cables cut in the live light
Brazen like a bull in a china shop
As if it were the dead of night

Tight-lipped police in the noon heat
They'll take your report but rather be on the beat
If you want a summer free of frowns
Don't think of bringing your bike downtown

I thought naively that they'll never saw through this lock
When I returned, some slick motherfucker
Had just took the wheel off

It was a genius turn of theft
And I would look upon it in jest
If it wasn't my bike that up and left

All-points bulletin, no point in posting up
Like an ex-lover that subsumed in the dust
If you don't wanna find yourself alone
You would be best leaving your bike at home

I know somewhere there's a warehouse
Nestled deep in the heart of the state
Where all the bikes anyone stole from anybody
All come to congregate

Like a museum to dreams we have in the summer
That discorporate like sprinkler water
I will find this place and reclaim my bike
Pristine like the day that I bought 'er

But even with the hypothetical so strange
The lesson of the story hasn't changed
If the turning of the chain is a musical sound
Don't you even dare bring your bike downtown


from Fake Marry Kill, released December 10, 2014
Christopher Casuga: vocals, guitars, bass, drums



all rights reserved


Fake Canadian Gilroy, California

The world needed another hyper-literate power-pop jawn fronted by a neurotic mess. Christopher Casuga is only happy to oblige.

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