1. |
It's Not For Me
02:39
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Another weekend night, a house party or a bar
It could turn out differently this time
Slick back my hair, feel real suave
Lookin' real fine, I`m dressed to the nines
But I know it's not for me, coz I know
This is just another venue to humiliate myself
Give me a chance, I swear that I will blow it
I can be an ass on my own, I don't need your help
I know my place, it's right there in that corner
Putting up my guard, you will never cross my border
Sayin' how you doin? Come here often?
That's not for me
So you walk up to me while I'm nursing my LaCroix
Well I would if there was one in the fridge
Oh, we could strike up a chat while I sip on warm tap water
But I feel I'm teetering off a bridge
Coz I know it's not for me, I'm as relatable
As Hemingway drinking himself under the table
Open up my mouth but I can only manage banal
So stilted, so shy, so utterly ungraceful
Maybe you would like to join me in this dance
But you will never know coz I won't give myself a chance
Spry, skipping carefree, I know it's not for me
No I just haven't earned it yet
I don't think I ever will
For all the milestones I've passed
The road still goes uphill
How long can you hold out
Can you manage one more climb
For all the good this does
It's no longer worth my time
The night's just getting started, but man, I feel so beat
Wave an Irish goodbye out the door onto the street
Way to go unnoticed, didn't even leave a dent
On the carpet or the wall, you're such a non-event
Coz I know it's not for me, socializing
Is not the domain of the overanalyzing
Post-mortem in the car driving down the freeway
Being at one with l'esprit de l'escalier
You're a schlub, you're a schmuck, you're a fakakta schnook
If you thought I'm headed somewhere, I guess I made you look
Doomed to a life of lateral movement
Allergic to anything resembling self-improvement
Digging in your heels with nowhere else to flee
I'm staying right here, going out is not for me
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2. |
Addlepated
02:57
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Credit check on me now
Run the receipts bit by bit
In reality, it's formality
I know I'm good for it
But I'm acting like a man
Waiting for the shoe to drop
Even if it doesn't fit
I can't will myself to stop
I know that things should be fine
I know I haven't shit the bed
But in my own mind, I know how I'll feel instead
Addlepated
Now I wrote up a list
Of all the good traits about myself
In the distance I can feel
The presence of something else
Some embarrassment from the past
Long ago locked away
But the way it hits me I feel
Like it was yesterday
There's no reason to think
A repeat performance is due
But I believe that I believe
that I think it's true
Addlepated
Gotta back away now
My welcome is overstayed
I was only here for a minute
But we know by now it’s boilerplate
Your hand slips away from mine
No connection was made
Clearly I didn’t try hard enough
To really engage with the game
I know I’m capable of more
I know that the outcome could change
Inevitably I will fuck up, what else can I say?
Addlepated
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3. |
Pattern Holder
03:20
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And the plane is packed with every drop of fuel it wants
It won't land 'til its used up every one that it's got
You can let me off any old time that you like
But if the flight plan says we stay airborne it's fine
I don't wanna break the tension
But I'm gonna miss my connection
The longer I stay on board
I'm staying stuck to my station
Waiting for my chances for disembarkation
Before I forget what I'm flying for
It's ok, I'm moving up the plane row by row
Maybe business class is a cromulent plateau
The captain speaks, we can hold this pattern long as we like
I bought the ticket, remind me how long is the ride?
I don't wanna break the tension
But I'm gonna miss my connection
The longer I stay on board
I'm staying stuck to my station
Waiting for my chances for disembarkation
Before I forget what I'm flying for
You meet all kinds with the seatbelt signs off
If we ever land, we've got our plans drawn
We got some time, well, a lot of it
To fight off all the endings forgone
And the service is second to none
Enough libation to keep you on one
But the buzz wears off and you realize
You've been on this plane too long
Well, we landed but we're taxiing indefinitely
The captain’s voice intones on the PA wearily
And I remembered when I've been back here before
Pulled the handle on the emergency exit door
And I hit the tarmac with both feet
Saw the sky so wide as I could see
And on that flight plan I can pull the curtain
And I swore it'd never happen again
A pattern holder in my life, ever, amen
As I board another flight uncertain
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4. |
Give Me Fleeting Moments
04:54
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The night tags to the fog
The sun puts up little fight
The day drags indefinitely
Before giving it back up to the night
I still want for leisure
I’ll pay any transaction
In its stead, I get tiny bits
Of micro-satisfactions
Give me fleeting moments
Brief like a candle
Little fits and starts
They're all that I can handle
Glances from the eye
Short conversations
Exceeding increasingly
Lowered expectations
Peering into a one-way window
Somehow the void stared back
But if you make a hard turn we can get this tour
Of your old life back on track
Cut to make a point
I'm a wound quick to stop the bleed
An accelerated, highlight friendship
A love lived at ten times speed
Give me fleeting moments
Brief like a candle
Little fits and starts
They're all that I can handle
Glances from the eye
Short conversations
Exceeding increasingly
Lowered expectations
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5. |
Longing for Longing
06:12
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I took the car out to the shop
So they could fix it up
The motor mounts were shot
The engine's shaking all over the bay
I set the traps up in my room
The mice, their deaths can't come too soon
I got a new card
To pay off my balance at a lower rate
I got all my ducks lined up
So I can take a clear shot
I got everything I need
How do I get everything I want
Been busy feeding myself
Just to stay hungry all the time
Just saved up enough energy
To send an SOS down the line
It wasn't like this in summers past
The portable AC is in so I can relax
The space heater's back in the attic
I'll see you some winter day
But satisfaction's side effects arrive
That wistful feeling's all but died
Been unfulfilled too long
I've been so preoccupied
Can't even recall the first steps
To working on what I had planned
Like falling in love for real or
Playing guitar in a band
It's like trying to relearn a language
After butchering it for years
All I'm left with is longing for longing
My aspirations are in arrears
Been hitting the street, been hitting the pubs
Working on my licks and beating the tubs
Lord help me, I want back on my bullshit
In the worst of all possible ways
I'm hanging on the straps
I try to make the most
But I can't even really seem to osmose
None of this is coming back as easy
If it ever really was at all
It's only a matter of time
Before my fortunes reverse
Wish fulfillment only lasts long enough
For a chorus and a verse
Opportunity knocked,
I shook its hand but it slipped away
Now the sun is setting
The results are pending
But I know that they won't go my way
The car broke down again in due course
The mice returned in their full force
My new card is overdrawn
Meet the new boss, same as the old
Let's put this search back on the shelf
I can self-actualize but can't feed myself
A fool I was to think
I was ready for something more
Can't sweat the small stuff
I've been through this cycle before
Who knows when my call up will come again
But until then here's the score
I'm back to the hustle
Who among us is above the grind?
Going right back to longing for longing
Going right back to tempering my pride
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Fake Canadian Sacramento, California
Angular power-pop trio from Sacramento, CA.
Christopher (vocals, guitar)
Howard (bass, vocals)
Jordan (drums)
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